Friday, April 5, 2013

Building Habits to Self-Love, Self-Awareness, + Confidence

Self value is so important for any young lady to establish.  It determines how people treat her, how successful she is, and what doors of opportunity are opened for her. Confidence is a divine right that constructs not only the path in front of her, but also one for other generations to follow.  This is a guide to being who you were designed to be and unleashing a woman who can literally conquer the world and can’t be stopped.

  1. Love yourself deeply.  How many times have women waited for a knight in shining armor to come sweep us off our feet?  The magical tales of romance we grew up listening to have created certain falsities in our head about what love is.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a strong believer in true love and good men, however I know that the key to that kind of love begins with self.  It’s more than saying it; it’s about taking the time to get to know the person you’re becoming and honoring her. The more you love yourself, the more you begin to attract someone who reciprocates that energy.  Allow someone in your life who adds to the happiness that was there before they arrived, not someone who your happiness depends on.
  2. Acknowledge what makes you beautiful.  Self-esteem is probably one of the biggest issues we are faced with in this society.  Why? Because media paints images of what it is to be beautiful, smart, talented, etc.  and if a person doesn’t fit that description, they aren’t good enough.  But the truth is they are more than enough.  There is nothing wrong with altering what you don’t like, such as losing weight or changing your hair, but make sure you appreciate you in your natural state. All the cosmetics in the world can’t hide how you actually feel about the real you. Look in the mirror (without make-up), smile, and stand there until you see how beautiful you are. Dig a little deeper and find those stand out traits that make you unique.  Do this every day until your smile is completely convinced that you are wonderfully made and don’t let anyone tell you different. 
  3.  Dedicate at least one weekend a month to yourself.  Don’t you like it when a special someone offers their complete undivided attention to you?  Well why not give yourself the same attention?  It’s called me time.  During this week, make sure all your business is taken care of prior to the weekend ahead.  The mind is a very sensitive absorbent.  When you are constantly in the presence of others, it’s hard to recognize your own thoughts. It’s important to balance socializing with the time you spend alone. Go out to eat and see a movie or order pizza and have a movie night alone. Take a day trip to the spa. Visit a local garden.   If transportation isn’t available to you and/or you live in a shared dorm situation like I did my freshman year, find a quiet place and listen to music on your iPod. Date yourself the way you would want someone else to date you, because if you don’t enjoy your own company, what makes you think other people will like being around you?
  4. Spend 15 minutes-1 hour per  day doing something that makes you happy.  The life of an ambitious girl can get pretty hectic, which can translate into a high level of stress at times.  Alleviate the stress by doing something that makes your heart smile.   It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant, but just something that brings you peace.  It could be something as simple as talking to a loved one on the phone.  Maybe you enjoy reading or writing.  Perhaps you like to dance to your favorite tunes or try different recipes in the kitchen.  Whatever it is that keeps your spirit alive, do it every single day.
  5. Pray/meditate.  Have a conversation with the universe.  Align yourself spiritually every morning and night.  Envision your goals for the day and mentally prepare yourself to achieve them. This way, you activate your inner goddess and open yourself up in a powerful, positive way.
  6. Live in gratitude.  Something my dad has always instilled in me was to not take anything for granted. When it came to how blessed we were as a family, he took this very seriously and I appreciate him for doing so.  It prohibits me from ever feeling like I am lacking or without and because of that, I experience abundance. In this moment, what do you have that so many others don’t?  Spend time appreciating those things that are often overlooked by what isn’t actually there. If you focus on what you don’t have, how can you handle more of what you do have?  Be grateful for everything; for love, food, health, safety, an education, ability to walk, run, laugh, the breath of life.  Remember that tangible things are only temporary and life can so easily and quickly be taken away.  There is a fitting quote I read once, and keep my prayers fixed on: “What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?” Think about it.
  7. Daily affirmations.  Affirmations are also an amazing way to start the day.  Create mantras, positive statements that speak directly to your dreams and manifest how you live your life.  If you cannot think of the words, utilize the internet and search ‘daily affirmations.’ Recite these aloud every morning and keep them locked in throughout the day.  One I like to rehearse often is:  There is so much power and creativity that lies within you.  Today allow spirit to guide you to prosperity and fulfillment. 
  8. Exercise.  Motivation is movement.  Keep your body active and stay committed to that 2 times a week.  If you have working limbs, you should be cherishing those  body parts that some people aren’t fortunate enough to have. You are young; take advantage of that time by being good to your body with physical activity while your muscles have the capacity to do so.  Also, it is said that students who are physically active are better focused, more disciplined, and well rounded, which are three things that will carry you successfully into any career path you dive into.
  9.  Surround yourself with people who make you happy, people who uplift you and motivate you to reach your fullest potential.   When you do dedicate valuable time to others, make sure the individuals in your vicinity add value to your life.  Don’t be around people who suck the energy out of you or make you unhappy.  Be very careful who you let enter your world, because believe it or not, those around you influence the way you act and think, subconsciously and consciously. 
  10. Go out and be a positive force in the world!  Now that you know what it means to find happiness within, it’s time to spread it.  Don’t worry; your happiness is not measured by how much you gain, but by how much you give.  Become apart of a good cause.  Do something for your community. Help someone with a problem. Tutor younger girls. Offer your services free.  Whatever you can do to make a difference, do it cheerfully and whole heartedly. 
  11. Always remember:



  1. I dont know why this doesnt have any comments yet because your writing is seriously brilliant. These are things I know all woman struggle with, ALL of us. All it takes is one strong willed woman (such as yourself) to open her heart and let other woman know theyy don;t have to keep on going feeling the way they do - not pretty enough, not fun enough, not sexual enough, the list goes on and on. This spoke to me on so many levels, its so nice to have that little reminder of what actually matters in the path towards happiness. Thank you for this love

    much love from NYC

    1. Awww thank you so much! It means a lot to me when someone is inspired by just my take on things. I'm not a popular blogger by a long shot, never tried to be, and I've just felt that whoever was supposed to come across it will, some way or the other. So whatever it is that lead you here , I am thankful!


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