Friday, October 7, 2016

Make Time for What's Important (an Homage to Personal Happiness)

Amandla Stenberg | @amandlastenberg
"...Livin' my life like it's golden, livin' my life like it's golden..." 
-Jill Scott

As I've gotten older, I've been considering what's important to me at this point in my life. Only naturally, my priorities over the years have shifted, but sometimes I fall into this trap of nostalgia that makes me miss who I used to be, and sometimes even, who I pretended to be. It's actually quite annoying that I've clung so tightly to things that aren't relevant anymore. What a waste of time! Although it took a while, I'm finally ready to burn the books and dead those chapters that should have been closed years ago. Although letting go can sometimes be a very frustrating transition period, it's time to move on. 

Moving on and detaching from something can hurt like hell, I know from experience, however, I'm starting to realize that there is a greater reward on the other side of release. This could be letting go of negative thinking, distancing oneself from toxic individuals, allowing the past to stay in the past, and so forth. It isn't always easy to learn how to live without certain situations. It's a process for people like me that takes time to work through. Eventually, the release will be viewed as necessary, because there is no longer a need to continue to block incoming blessings with things that don't quite fit in your life anymore. Alongside fighting depression and striving to be happy, I'm sure I've written about this before. 

I have to remember to take a deep breath and not allow things I can't control to cause me stress. When I forget, there are gentle reminders all around me, such as my iPhone's lock screen, my mom's encouraging words, my best friends' listening ears. I've even met someone recently, who has been such a breath of fresh air-and with effortless guidance-keeps me just as grounded as the people closest to me. Even on a romantic level, I am learning not to think so far ahead. Staying present has granted the opportunity to find peace in small, yet significant ways and to practice what I preach in regards to affirming my own happiness and finding beauty in all things (without questioning if I deserve beautiful things to happen to me).  Because typically, this is my pattern: I'll write out what good things are happening one minute and completely self-sabotage and abort the next...

Crissle West | @crissles

So back to taking into account all that's important to me at this point in my life, which all boils down to happiness and peace of mind; cultivating the opportunity to receive those things and not distract myself with whatever I don't have. I only want to give energy to things that bring me joy. I only want to make room for genuine souls who are able to reciprocate my effort and my love without me having to beg or compromise my worth. I only want to engage in activities that are positive and helpful to my growth. I only want to promote love and positive vibrations in all facets of my life. The more I focus my energy on what I do want to grow and proliferate, the less space I make for things I don't want.

Also, I've been spending as much time as possible with my family. Every single day, I run into people who aren't fortunate enough to share special bonds with family members and it reminds me of how blessed I am. Magically enough, it gives me less time to think about people who aren't in my life anymore or cry over who treated me poorly/didn't show love the way I expected and even deserved to be loved, because there are plenty of people who play active roles in my life, even outside of my family circle, whose love sustains me daily. And sometimes the lack of friends in my immediate environment makes me forget all the wonderful friends I've made in my life thus far, who I am 100% sure will be around for a lifetime. It's normal for the people we love to live very busy and separate lives, but we all will always find a way:

Make time for what's important 

...which means carving out quality time for each other. There is no secret science to how to do it; it's actually very simple. For me personally, prioritizing has proven to be a natural remedy for depression, as well as an organic way to keep my anxiety to a minimum. The past nor the future is as important as what's happening in this moment.

These past few weeks have been difficult and super stressful, simply because I was just trying to find balance, yet feeling like I was drowning in the process. But yesterday, I literally woke up and decided to be happy...and, to my surprise, it actually worked! As long as I can wake up and make that choice, I know I'll be fine. I'm aware that everyday won't be perfect and some days are harder than others, but finally I understand just how much I deserve to be happy...

Lizzo | @Lizzo

Smiling from ear to ear happy.
Can't stop laughing out loud happy.
Owning every room I walk in happy.
Excited to face each day and every challenge happy.
Shining from the inside out happy. 
Knowing that everything will be OK + the universe is safe happy. 




  1. We love your blog so much and support all that you do! So much so that we’ve featured you on our 100 Millennial Lifestyle Bloggers of Color list! Thank you for all you do Chy! -

    1. Awww...what an honor, Kimberly...thank you!!! Where have you been???


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