Thursday, December 14, 2017

What the Netflix series, 'Friends from College' Taught me About Settling

The other night, I was wide awake in the wee hours of the morning, reflecting on life and other things After binge watching the Netflix series, Friends from College. Somewhere in between me praying for guidance and stressing about my to-do list, a thought crossed my mind about settling and how often people force themselves to fall in love with the life they have and accept the cards that have been dealt, simply because they didn't end up with the life they actually wanted.

While entertaining, there were a few wildly familiar concepts that the show brought to my attention. It warranted this idea that some decisions we make result in consequences we are obligated to live with forever. On the other hand, some consequences are simply a part of the lesson, where we make a mistake (or make a choice), deal with the repercussions, and are eventually presented with another opportunity to go about things differently. However, more often times than not, the difference between permanent and temporary consequences is a blurred line.

For instance, people will miss out on the love of their life, for whatever reason, and opt for the next best thing. Perhaps, something happened on their individual paths that caused them to walk in different directions. Eventually both parties decide to choose someone else, because life is way too short to wait on things to align perfectly in order for these two people to choose each other, right? However, every now and then, those lingering curiosities pop up and suddenly, the normal routine they've built as the foundation becomes a little less dependable than it once appeared to be. What do we do when we are faced with the daunting questions of what would've/should've/could've happened when there is no way to change what did happen. After awhile, it all becomes utterly exhausting to dwell on, so we either act on it those emotions and risk losing everything, understand the grass isn't always greener and focus on the present moment, or distract ourselves with the life we've already established.

Obviously that example is situational and not everyone thinks like that about their life. Some people are genuinely satisfied with the choices they've made and absolutely content the life they have, but the point is: why is it such a normal concept to settle? Why do we feel like a life that is ours by design is somehow not ours to create? If we want to dig deeper and talk about philosophy that involves spirituality and religion, are we not made in the image of God, the creator of everything? Have we not been given free will? Do we not know that the universe works on our behalf rather than against us?

I don't have the answers, but I have settled enough to know better moving forward. Despite society constantly implying that I should settle and always trying to dictate what should be on my radar at any given moment, that's not what I or anyone else is meant to do with our time here on earth. I am well aware that I can't  possibly control everything and that things don't always go as planned, but I can act as if the universal powers are all on my side, ready to help me shift things the way I see fit. I refuse to submit to lifelong misery, all because I decided not to go after what I wanted. Even if I intentionally travel down that road and allow myself to be guided by the strong pull of what I love instead of fear, it will only lead to having exactly what I want or obtaining something far greater than what I initially envisioned, even considering the mistakes I'm bound to make along the way. And both destinations are equally fascinating in my book.

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